Bulletin | Lampas: The Last Resort — VTuber SummerSlam 2026

Vol. I, No. 7June 25, 2026Price: 1 Aur

AUR AND AMUSEMENT REIGN SUPREME ATTHE ARS AMATORIA GALA!

By Anonymouse

'Boxtala' in Attendance with The Chancellor (Batala)

Yesterday evening, Lampas' brightest stars, socialites and seafarers came together for a night of glitz, glamour, and giving back. The Ars Amatoria Galà hosted by Aurelio Ronové & Ramses Drake was held at the local casino Vivi's Royale, hosting a full night of activities. Members of every faction from the Navy to the Faith were seen convening in the halls, engaging in friendly conversation despite the rising tension over recent events.

Spotted at the event were local rising celebrities such as Penny Constella and the increasingly popular Chancellor J. Lovemachine of the LMI. The event was kicked off with some dancing, and a song performance by the winner of the Merkado Singing Fest, before finally arriving at the highlight: The Auction.

Eventgoers and mysterious merchants contributed to the pile of treasures up for grabs, ranging from 'Songs of The Deep' to 'Yaoi Books' and signed photographs. One particular item came as a shock to many, labeled 'The ArchDuchess' Bathwater' which amounted to 10,000 Aur. Even more surprising was the highest bid of the evening for 'The ArchDuchess' Tiara', sold at a whopping 30,000 Aur.

Captain(?) Ramses “Ram” Drake (Anonymouse)

Seen among the eager bidders was the elusive Admiral Noct. Members of the Navy in attendance were seen watching 'in disbelief' as he paid the amount in full, whispering about their 'Defense Budget'. Media was later informed that this was a simple 'joke' and did not reflect the truth of their internal affairs.

Due to the popularity of the event, a later Mini-Auction was held to continue the remaining sales, leading many to believe the charity event was a massive success.

Lampia Cheese Factory Announces Rollout of New Affordable, High-Protein Cheese Product

By Conrad Crowley

Lampia Cheese (Tourism Director Zigfried)

Are you hungry? a lover of cheese? But do you struggle with a bloated belly each time you enjoy a slice? Well look no further! we present to you: Lampia Cheese! We with the Lampia Cheese factory work around the clock to deliver you the tastiest cheese on all of Lampas! Lampia cheese is not only the tastiest cheese on all of Lampas (confirmed by hundreds of taste testers and cheese connoisseurs alike!) but also the most afordable! Lampia cheese is tastier, higher in protein and nutrients than any other cheese and all that at a much more affordable price than any other cheese! We at the Lampia cheese factory believe that everyone should be able to enjoy cheese without having a sore belly! Lampia cheese can be eaten as is or used to make grilled cheese sandwiches and used on cheeseburgers! Lampia cheese it's out of this world! Coming to a store near you!

SUBWAY ZOMBIE CRISIS: PANIC AT LAMPAS STATIONS!

By Ministry of Internal Affairs

Lampas is facing a major transit crisis after the Lampas railway stations were overrun by an endless horde of zombies, pillagers, and evokers. What was supposed to be a peaceful commute has turned into a desperate fight for survival on the tracks. Admiral Condoriano is leading the Navy's defensive lines, though witnesses report his progress is slowed by his insistence on checking each monster's passport before engaging them in combat. Meanwhile, Seamus Stormwave, the leader of the Fisheries, was spotted performing tactical rolls down the rails, single-handedly clearing the undead with his sword. LMI Chancellor Lovemachine released an official statement denying rumors that the academy is operating as the 'Umbrella Corporation' of the colony. Despite his assurances, the suspicious glowing green moss spreading from the station gates has caused widespread panic among resort guests. Nevertheless, subway commute are reportedly safe now after clearing the zombies that did not pay train tickets.

TIPS? Contact Radio Lampas via the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Compensation in Aurs for verified information.