Bulletin | Lampas: The Last Resort — VTuber SummerSlam 2026

Vol. I, No. 1June 19, 2026Price: 1 Aur

ADMIRAL DUELS CHANCELLOR, CHANCELLOR DIES AND RETURNS FROM THE BEYOND!

By Cam M. Bert

Earlier today at the local Pizza Parlor in the heart of Lampas, Admiral Pomodoro Condoriano of the Royal Navy and Chancellor J. Lovemaker of the LMI were spotted in a duel following a verbal altercation.

It was alleged that the Chancellor's daughter had been subject to harassment from the Admiral himself during the free pizza event, to which the Chancellor responded to with a challenge. Admiral Pomodoro shot Chancellor Lovemaker in the stomach after a brief physical scuffle.

Witnesses report the Admiral stating, "Let this man be an example!" as a crowd of locals and tourists alike began to gather around the scene of the incident. To the shock and horror of many, however, the Chancellor himself had returned to life minutes after his supposed death, resurrected by a mysterious force from beyond that he describes as 'terrifying'. Local High Priest says the return is one of the many miracles of their 'Mother', in reference the local legend K''raa.

In a follow-up interview, the Chancellor states he does not fully recall what was witnessed after the gun was fired. He only recalls the deep sea, a strange, glowing construct, and the sudden, harrowing reality of a second life that until now had been thought to be impossible.

Is there truly something wandering the deep ocean? Is the legend of K'raa, The Mother, real?

LOCAL CHEESE GIANT, GOUDA STUFF IS SWIPED CLEAN

By Cam M. Bert & Kaiser Moriarty

Following the influx of tourists and tours during today's resort opening, a local cheese supplier, Gouda Stuff, had reported their goods of wheels and exotic variants to be missing. Following an initial bounty post, the local rat population of Lampas had been implicated as a suspect, though this was later dropped and cleared. No charges have been made. Later that afternoon, local rat-folk were spotted restocking the shelves full of new cheese for the store, stating it was a gift as a show of good will. Suspect still remains at large.

WANT A FISHING LICENSE? HERE'S HOW!

By Kaiser Moriarty

Ever wanted to try your hand at fishing? Not just the folks down at the docks have the ability to- anyone can! The process to acquire a fishing license is short and easy. Talk to Captain Seamus or Captain Xander down by the Fisheries. All you have to do is prove you can catch a fish! Even an eccentric fellow like "Blue" Fish Man was able to acquire one (as seen in the photo).

TIPS? Contact Radio Lampas via the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Compensation in Aurs for verified information.